the Carrier
by Lou P.F
Summary: Gratuity Tucci has always been a light in the darkness, guiding Oh through the night. He doesn't realize until they find each other again, when he's lost. Advent Calendar 2016
1. Chapter 1

**.1.  
** Lost souls wander in the night, nervous, horrible and ice cold. They stumble through forests and deserts and mountains, some of them falling, some of them giving up and some of them simply disappearing. Some of them work their way out of it, but it is not often these stubborn souls find their way out.

Some souls deserve better but cannot believe that, some souls think they deserve better while they actually do not, and some souls deserve better and _know_.

For those souls who deserve better, there will always be a light. There will always be the chance that a lantern might show up, lightening up their path. And that if they choose to walk towards it, they will be met by the Carrier- Gratuity Tucci.


	2. Chapter 2

**.2.  
** No one knows for how long she has been around. All they know is that if they choose her, then soft, green eyes and a warm smile will meet them. Open arms and listening ears. Comforting words and a path towards something lighter, something better. Other souls, good souls who deserve better and gets better.

She wears a thick coat, someone says. No, someone else might argue, she wears a summer dress. Others might say she wears jeans and a shirt. It is different to everyone, a soul sighs. You see what you want, what might comfort you most of all.


	3. Chapter 3

**.3.  
** Her hands are as soft as silk, they say. So soft they barely feel her cool touch when she runs her soothing palms down their arms, uttering comforting words as they cry. She is desperate to help, they whisper as they follow her light. Someone mutters about whether she has a lover or not as she wards of the darkness, the biting cold and the searing heat, keeping their safe bubble intact.

A whisper breaks loose, a whisper that states the speaker wish it was, causing shocked and paralyzed looks. No one knows who said those words. All of them want to be the one brave enough to voice everyone's thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**.4.  
** She does not know for how long she has been around. Her eyes are soft and green, yes, and she listens, yes, but she has lost the want to do it. She has lost the will to smile, lost the will to sooth their pain.

She wears a large, black hat covering her bobbing curls. This she knows. She wears a long, black cape covering her red shirt and leather pants. In her hand, she holds a lantern as she brings light to the souls she guide. Her face stern as she walks, until a soul need her, and she plasters on a smile.


	5. Chapter 5

**.5.  
** Her hands are weathered after all the time she has spent in the sun and wind and rain. She listens as they speak and cry, but she is barely touching their skin. She hears the whisper whether she has a lover or not and silently curses the speaker as she leads the group of souls through darkness and light, cold and heat.

She hears the mutter about wishing, and straightens her back. She has no need for love, she tells herself. In all the stories she has heard, love is usually the main reason the souls are lost or sour. She has no need for love, the Carrier tells herself, but she is not sure if she believes it.


	6. Chapter 6

**.6.  
** One time there is a soul that does not look like the others. It glows with a different light, she can tell even without looking at it. Brighter, purer. It does not cry, it does not beg for help. It wonders why on Earth it deserves better, but when she smiles; it reluctantly comes with her. It has no problems it wish to tell her about, instead it asks why she is the one holding the light.

She cannot answer. She is stunned to silence, and while a part of her wish desperately to speak with the soul again, another part of her want to push it away.


	7. Chapter 7

**.7.  
** She refuses to look at the peculiar soul when it drifts up to her side, asking what happens after this. She does not look at him when she answer that they stay as long as they wish, waiting for him to drift off again. Sometimes souls do wonder, but only once, never twice.

It asks why there are so few of them, and she stumbles in her path. Why has it not walked away? Why is it still there? But she considers its question. Staring into thin air, she responds that she does not know.

It walks away, and she expects that that is the last time she will see it. She is strangely saddened.


	8. Chapter 8

**.8.  
** It shows up again, and she greets it with a nod, still refusing to look at it. After a few seconds in silence, it mutters a question; _what are you_. She has to think about it. She is not sure. She has felt pain before, but the lantern she holds between her hands chased it away. Same with the cold, heat and darkness. The only thing that seems not to effect her is time itself. Time passes by, and she choose to answer that it is not important.

The soul shoots her an odd look. They fall to silence again. Suddenly it speaks up, telling her that it believes she is human. Before the Carrier can answer, it has disappeared into the crowd.

Human?


	9. Chapter 9

**.9.  
** Next time it appears at her side, she repeats the question it asked her. It is still there, which surprises her. Souls usually only stay a few weeks before they are happy enough or willing to move on. The soul smiles to her, even though she will still not look at it. It answers that it is a Boov, as if its species is important. As if its species is what she asked for. Male, it adds, when it sees her frown.

She surprise the both of them, asking for its name. She has never asked. It has never mattered. She has never cared to get to know the souls she guide.

It answers Oh, but she is not sure whether it is a sound or a name.


	10. Chapter 10

**.10.  
** All the souls have moved on and been replaced by new ones. All except one, and the Carrier is surprisingly happy about it. She should not be this attached. She should not care to this degree. It should hurt, but it does not.

She tugs at her hat as a soul walk up to her. It tugs her cape gently, asking for her attention with a small voice. The Carrier's steps falter. This is a kid, how did a kid get here? She responds with a pleasant yes, without thinking about it.

The kid asks for its mom silently and the Carrier has to rub her temple as the words uttered by a child whisper about an old and forgotten memory she did not know she had.

What is Christmas, anyway?


	11. Chapter 11

**.11.  
** I have been thinking about what you said, the Carrier tells the strange soul when it show up again. Even though she does not see it, she can feel that it looks at her, almost expectant. She explains that; _I may have been human at a point, but I cannot possibly be it anymore. Time has no effect on me; I do not need food nor liquid. I am a Carrier._ The _Carrier. I simply cannot be human_. The soul that said its name was Oh smiles, and tells her it predicted the answer. Then it says it can prove her theory, and she catch herself wondering how.


	12. Chapter 12

**.12.**

Oh requests the lantern, later. It is dark again; the souls are calmly sleeping under the stars, completely trusting the Carrier to protect them, to watch over them as if she has nothing better to do. Completely horrified, she begs its pardon. It asks her to trust it.

She hands it the lantern.

Her hands feel so empty, so light and so _free_ when the lantern is gone. As if it is a burden she does not wish to have.

The moment it touches the other soul's hand, the light goes out. Darkness surrounds them and cold air suddenly laugh at them for letting it enter their throats. The Carrier snatches the lantern back immediately, happy when the flame flares to life, bringing light with it once again.


	13. Chapter 13

**.13.  
** The next day, Oh – _the soul_ , she tells herself, _the soul-_ tells her that she is important to the lantern. Her respond is sarcastic and dry. It uses some time to explain that she was right; she is not human after all.

The Carrier snaps that she knew. She can feel the soul's eyes on her, but she cannot tell if they are judging or not.

The stinging in her chest makes her hope that it does not.

She still refuse to look at the odd soul. She is scared, but of what she is not sure of. She will not give it the pleasure.


	14. Chapter 14

**.14.**

One day, the Carrier leads the souls past a fire, a fire slowly devouring a tree. As she does, a memory fades into place. The souls shush each other as their guide begin hum softly.

 _Deep in the woods, there was a fire  
that burned with an evil desire,  
desire to feed on the pain…_

She feels their adoring stares. However, ignoring them is far too easy.

 _And it said;  
why don't you cast yourself at me?  
I promise you won't feel a thing…_

Her voice return to a soft hum, then a whisper, before it disappear entirely. And somehow, she knows that Oh is grinning, somewhere in the group of souls.

Smiling a genuine smile after all of this time felt weird.

Weird, but good.

(Song: The Fire, by Griffinilla)


	15. Chapter 15

**.15.**

The soul wonders why she does not look at it during their next encounter. The Carrier, being her sassy self, shoots right back, asking why it is still there. It complains about being serious, sadness tainting it voice as it speaks. She wish… she wish she could sooth the sadness away, touch the soul until it has no choice but to smile and laugh. Shocked, she shakes her head. She has not wished for that in a long, long, time.

Please, it begs silently.

She admits that she is scared.

The unexpected response echoes ( _of what)_ silently, the soul's voice impossible to decipher. The Carrier thinks, and thinks, and has to think some more. I do not know, she finally says. She pointedly ignores the little part of her whispering ancient words about _love._


	16. Chapter 16

**.16.**

The soul let the matter fall. It did not ask anymore, but the Carrier knew that it wondered silently. And she knew, she knew her actions hurt it.

She did not know why they hurt it. She did not know how they hurt it, but she knew that she did not want pain to fall over her souls. She had never wanted that, but this time it was different. She did not want _this_ soul to feel pain, and she did not know why.

The Carrier was, to be honest, a bit confused. She decided to ignore it. Surely, the strange soul called Oh would be happy enough to move on soon, and then her life would return to normal. No more questions, no more thinking, no more singing. No more Oh.

The thought hurt, and she _did not know why._


	17. Chapter 17

**.17.**

 _Look at me_ , the Boov soul urge desperately, its voice a mere whisper in the night, careful not to wake the others. She refuses through clenched teeth, staring stubbornly into the darkness and locking gazes with the mocking evil. The soul walks in front of her, seeking for her gaze, for her green eyes. It asks why but she finds that she cannot answer.

I am already too attached, she does not say. I cannot become more. Her mouth refuses to form the words, voice stuck in her throat.

She gets up, tightens her hold on the lantern and tells the soul to go to sleep.

It does.


	18. Chapter 18

**.18.**

She watches them sleep. She watch over them, still as a stone, steady as a mountain, face untouched by time. The light from her lantern flickers across her features whenever the wind touches the flame.

When they sleep, they look so much alike. So much like they are the same, stuck in time. The glow fades to almost disappear when they sleep and they end up being just a heap of bodies. Different skin, different colors, different sizes. As if they are alive once more, as if they never ended, as if they never cried.

She sighs and looks up at the sky, her lips stretched in a frown. Her job should be easy. _Being her_ should be easy.

So why is it not?


	19. Chapter 19

**.19.**

It wants to know what it will call her, she answers the Carrier and it laughs. It wants to know her name, she realizes. It wants to know _her_ , _her_ , not the Carrier, and a pang goes through her. Thoughts echo inside her head and she gasps. It can leave whenever it want why has it not it knows why is it still here-

 _I do not want it to leave_.

She answers Gratuity Tucci when it asks again, giving herself a promise as she hits the lantern into the ground for each and every step she takes.

She will do something that will keep the soul in this place for a longer time, do something it will appreciate.

She will look at it.


	20. Chapter 20

**.20.  
** The Carrier has seen Boov before, and knows that they resemble each other. This one is no exception, with its rather square face and normal build. Surrounding the body is the aura all souls have, erasing the outlines of its shape, glowing softly. Except this one does not, its glow being the strongest the Carrier can recall seeing, stronger than the flaring sun in the day and the moon shining in the night.

The soul notice her stare and turns around, its clear, diamond blue eyes widening when their gazes lock. Then it smiles, it smiles a most adorable smile and the Carrier hurries to look away, heat flowing to her face.

She touches her cheek, confused, wondering what is wrong with her body.


	21. Chapter 21

**.21.**

The whispers are not about whether she has a lover or not anymore. The souls whisper about curses and wonders and why her lover is a soul and they question _why_ and _how_. It takes some time before she realize that they are talking about _it_ , the soul that was different from the very beginning, the male Boov. _Oh._ Her face flush when she understand, but she pretends that she does not hear. The soul in question wonders if the others would believe them if they said they were only friends, and both joy and sorrow hit her.

They are friends. _Friends_.

So why is she not satisfied?

A part of her knows why, a part of her she has just begun to acknowledge.

(I'm sorry, the last few days I've been without wifi!)


	22. Chapter 22

**.22.**

A particular brave soul sits down next to her a night. She smiles softly at it, asking what is wrong, because that is her job, that is why she is there. Her smile, however, falters when the soul asks why she is in denial. A few seconds she stares shocked at it.

The soul then repeats the question, stating that her feelings are obvious to all watching.

And the Carrier gets up, ignores the statement and puts the soul to sleep.

Why does everyone else know all about her before she does herself?


	23. Chapter 23

**.23.**

Oh uses her given name and she flinch. On a whim, she tells it to call her Tip. She does not know why. It does not ask but simply corrects itself. Tell me, it requests, and the Carrier does. She tells it a story of a time where there was no Carrier, where there was no hope nor light. She tells it a story about a young girl, which did not understand what she did when she picked up a lantern and decided to take all the pain.

Take all the pain _herself_ , because of course it is better that _she_ hurts instead of everyone else… right?

When the Carrier has told her story, the soul looks up at her and dries away its tears. It tells her how sorry it is. She believes it and tells it that it is not its fault.


	24. Chapter 24

**.24.**

She smiles as it walks up to her, keeping her pace with ease. She awaits its snarky comment; she awaits its words, simply because the soul always begins their conversations. It surprises her; however, as it pleads to know what she was so scared off, why she was scared of meeting its gaze.

And the Carrier considers. She considers what to say, for a long time, and does not answer before a sunset and sunrise has passed.

Finally, she settles for the truth.

 _I was a fool. I thought I could outrun love; I thought I could avoid falling for you, when really, my face was already covered in mud._

 _(I'M SO SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS AAAAAH)_


	25. Chapter 25

**.25.**

She can feel its gaze, burning into her side, and she has to swallow to keep the tears at bay. Of course; it does not love her, of course; it cannot _possibly_ love her-

it stops abruptly, and she stops, too. A few more seconds pass, before the Boov, with a booming voice, turns around and requests a brave, happy soul, which is not afraid of new things.

Only one soul steps forth, and it is the soul from earlier, the one who talked about denial and feelings. Oh tells her to give the lantern to the soul, and in her confused daze, she allows it. Her whole body is ready to snatch it back the moment the light fades out, but-

it does not. The light stays, and the moment the lantern switch hands, she is not the Carrier anymore, she is Gratuity Tucci, she is _Tip_ and she looks like a soul, her outlines glowing the same amount as Oh's, her body almost silver instead of colored. The soul who answered to Oh's request has transformed, too, and in its place is a human.

She does not have time, however, to examine the new Carrier, as Oh reaches up, tugs at the collar of her cape and drags her down until she is at her knees in front of it. _You do not know for how long I have been wanting to do this,_ it snarls, and-

it kisses her.

She reaches after it. She kisses back. She cries.

And she disappears.

 _They_ disappear…

because they were happy enough to move on.

To move on _together,_

because neither was happy enough without love.

Without each other.

(review please?)


End file.
